oh, hey, remember me?

Hello everyone!

It’s been a long (LONG) time since I’ve written, posted, or even thought about this website. Why? Ugh, pick any number of reasons: I’ve been too busy, definitely overwhelmed, possibly (definitely) depressed, felt trapped in my own world, or maybe I just didn’t want to? The actual answer? I simply FORGOT that this website existed.

I’d like to say that it’s only been a few months, but in reality… It’s been much longer. The last blog post was in October of 2019. I did the math, and that’s 5.5 YEARS! I feel like such a dingbat for letting this just sit without attention. Now, there are a lot of drafts (more than 10) that I sat down and began to write, but nothing was posted; I’m so lame. Why didn’t I press post? What was I so afraid of? I wish I had a good answer, but in truth, I just don’t. So, let’s play catch up:

2019-

March: G & B Have a Farm Themed Birthday party, the whole Askew Faimily come to attend it!

June: Our little nephew is diagnosed with Reactive Attatchment Disorder and we decide to petition the courts for Full Permanant Custody of B.

September: Family Court

October: I took a trip to San Francisco to see my favorite: Senses Fail with my favorite: Jenni. It was a pretty great month!

December: We decided to explore the idea of Surrogacy! I was done having children of my own, but it had always been a dream of mine to help someone else achieve that Parenting Badge.

2020-

January: I called the Utah Fertility Clinic, and was led through the process of becoming an surrogate! So Exciting!

February: I was matched with a sweet couple, but there wasn’t a connection for us, I wished them the best, and made the hard decision to pass on the match.

March: Covid. Need I go on? Mason began to work from home, we added another room onto the house, and I pulled out my sewing machine and began making masks, they were pretty cool, I can’t lie.

April: I was matched with another couple, and it was an instant yes for us. Something about them just sang out to my heart, and I knew without a sliver of a doubt that they we had been waiting for each other.

July: We are Awarded Custody of B. FINALLY. That took F_O_R_E_V_E_R

September: I begin IVF medfications to prepare my body for the upcomming embryo transfer, it’s getting real! >POKE> POKE>POKE>POKE>POKE>

October: It’s Twins! We transferred 2 embryos via IUI and saw a positive line on a pregnancy test on October 13th, 2020. An ultrasound a few weeks later confirmed that there were 2 little heartbeats thumping away! YAY! We also bought a 12 passenger van- talk about room! I miss that thing.

December: on Christmas Eve, I woke up bleeding. This was so scary.

2021-

March:

April: I am admitted to Antepartum at 32 weeks pregnant for 12 days of sleep, and monitoring. I’m eventually released, but can’t go home. I miss my family, but watched a lot of Breaking Bad and listened to countless Audiobooks. Also, Doordash is cool.

May: I spent the entire month of May away from my family. Preterm Labor, Bells Palsy, being coupled up in our friend Rachel’s house made this a very bed-ridden and boring month for me. and on the last day of the month, I delivered two beautiful and healthy babies for the sweetest couple! Sloane Nicole (eek!) and Lloyd Chance were born at 36 weeks and made this the most eventful month of the entire year! Thank you SO much for allowing me to babysit for you! I’ll forever be honored and blessed to be a part of your story.

June: We got a snake.

October: I took a trip to Portland to see my favorite: Senses Fail with my other favorite: Mason. I even got to meet the band! It was a pretty great month!

September: I had the chance to visit my little belly buddies! Stinking little cuties!

November: Mason depolyed to Kuwait with the Idaho Army National Guard. UGH. The next year was rough, but spoiler alert: we survived it!

December: I took a road trip with my bestie to see a Mom Comedy show in Oregon, and got to meet a kickass human, Tiffany Jenkins (heygirlhey!), and on the way home, I caught the dreaded COVID, I thought I was going to die. I might have. We may never know. Cooper and I saw Hamilton, SO GOOD!

2022-

January: We got a Llama called Llyndah. She hated me.

February: My Bladder got a bra, and I quit peeing myself accidently. I lost our snake (still haven’t foud it), and I began posting all the strange and raw parts of my life on social media and then one day, my TikTok account blew up. It was unexpected and humbling, and forever changed how I viewed social media. I began speaking out about Reactive Attatchment Disorder (RAD) and how it affects not only the chils, but the whole family.

March: I met Lieutenant Dan our Famous Footless Rooster, Earl the blind lamb, and Rocky, the best paralyzed Great Pyrenees. RIP Dan and Rocky ❤

June: I started my most exxpensive hobby- 3D Printing.

July: I took a trip to Salt Lake City to see my favorite: Senses Fail with my other other favorite: Cooper. I even got to meet the band! It was a pretty great month!
Lt Dan got his magic shoes.

August: I accidently trapped a cat in the freezer… She’s okay.

November: MASON CAME HOME! The longest year of my life was finally over.

December: I make my acting debut in A Christmal Carol. why??

2023-

January: We bought a store. A whole store. It’s called Homestead Supply and it sells hardware, paint, farm and feed, and everything that I just don’t know about. I DO know about retail, but I’ve never had to sell anything like this… If I’m being honest, I don’t like any of it.

February: I got an Occamy (tattoo)!

March: I’m a Director. What? I’m co-Directing this summer’s local theater’s production of The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe. WHAT?

April: BEES!

May: I took a job as the Library Director! Ummm, yes please! I read the book Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros. LIFE CHANGED. I was also in a Mother’s Day play.

June-July: Theater only.

September: I took a trip to Boise to see my favorite: Senses Fail with my other other other favorite: Jamie. I even got to meet the band! It was a pretty great month!

October: the Askew Family took a trip to Hawaii!

2024-

January: I went to and Adult Prom and was nominated Prom Princess! Heck yeah!

October: Tyler’s Gallbladder decided it didn’t want to work anymore, so we took the bumpiest ambulance ride to Salt Lake City, Utah for a 5 day hospital stay. They decided that she didn’t need it anymore and yanked that sucker out! Glad that’s over!

December: I signed up with an agency to begin a second surrogacy journey! I was matched within a WEEK! The couple that I am working with live in Europe and are two of the kindest people I have had the pleasure to meet in recent years. I am so excited to see where this leads!

2025-

January: I resigned as the Library Director. Why? Look at what I did in 2024… since I took the job, I was not able to do anything extra, there simply was not enough time in the day/week/month/year! This was not a thriving way to live, and after reflection of how I was balancing the hardware store, library, homeschooling, homestead, upcomming surrogacy, and marriage, I realized that it was all beginning to overwhelm me. The ONLY thing that I could pull back on was the library. It was a very difficult decision, but ultimately, it was the right one.

February: I had my very first Mammogram, or “Topless Photoshoot,” as I like to call it. Whelp, they found something. I spent all of February going back and forth for more imaging and ended up with a biopsy to find out what the heck it was.
I also took a trip to Connecticut to the New England Fertility Institute to get my medical clearance for the Surrogacy.

March: We found out what the heck it was. “Intraductal Papilloma involved by Lobular Carcinoma in situ.” What does that mean? First off, it sounds scarier than it is. I had little begnin tumors in one of my milk ducts and the tissue surrounding it has cellular changes. LCIS is NOT Cancer, but it’s an indication that I maybe someday might have the possibility of developing it. Maybe. After this we scheduled a lumpectomy, and the pathology showed no further areas of concern, but I will continue to be seen at the High Risk Breast Cancer Clinic and keep on checking for changes. I’m good. I promise.

April: that’s all folks!

So what happens next? If I can stay diciplined (ha!), I will try my super hardest to keep an updated account of whats going on. I left out a WHOLE lot of stories, and I hate that. I love writing, especially my own narrative- meaning I want to write what I want, not to be told to. I don’t do well with prompts, but I do do (haha doodoo) well with routine. Can I keep it up? Can I maintain a regular release of words to keyboard? Probably not, but let’s give it a go! again!

Here is to looking forward and sharing stories.

Love, Nicole